Bookish Reviewish~ In Which We Shall Encounter Vampires, Anarchists, Kidnapping, Wellington, And Bread…Among Other Things

Greetings, my dear bloggerly companions!

Well, here I am. I have returned. The show was amazing (truly it was), but I’m glad it’s over because I did want my life back at some point.

Now I have to remember what blogging is.

…

It is high time for a bookish reviewish post, I think.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

Is Jonathan Harker stupid? No. Of course not. He’s just not the best judge of character. Or the best at reading social cues. People trembling in fear and taking on horrified expressions every time one mentions the name of one’s employer might be a good indication to you or me that something sketchy is going on, but that doesn’t work for Jonathan. No, sir, it does not. But that’s okay, because we love him anyway. And so does Mina.

(I know that wasn’t much of a description, but as anyone may have surmised from the title, yes, this book is full of vampires.)

YEA:

• the format (the fact that it’s all told in letters and diary entries from various characters’ perspectives is pleasing)
• Jonathan and Mina being wholesome
• Quincey, Arthur and Dr. Seward being hardcore buddies (this also is wholesome)
• Van Helsing being…Van Helsing (what a fine Dutchman he is)
• Renfield being insane (quite disturbing, actually, but also fascinating)
• the melodrama (this book just GOES for things, and I appreciate that. It is hilarious)
• the good vs. evil theme (yes…vampires are in fact…evil)

NAY:

• …vampires (yeah…so apparently I’m not a fan of vampires, even in their proper context)
• Sometimes the stupidity/slowness of the characters was entertaining, but sometimes I was just like, guys…GUYS. SHE IS PALE YOU ARE DEALING WITH A VAMPIRE JUST PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER
• It dragged in some places
• Every adaption ever (TRY MAKING MINA FALL IN LOVE WITH DRACULA ONE MORE TIME-)

Verdict: Despite some underwhelming aspects, I greatly enjoyed this quintessential gothic novel and I think it’s probably the only vampire book I will ever like.

The Genius Under the Table: Growing Up Behind the Iron Curtain by Eugene Yelchin

This is an autobiographical book for young readers (elementary/middle grade) about all the happy times that Yevgeny had as a boy in Cold War Russia. Yay Communism. (I guess I am feeling rather sarcastic today.)

YEA:

• the simple but effective writing style (Yelchin knows how to tell a story, you know?)
• the tone (lighthearted but with a heavy undertone)
• the picture it paints of a genuine time and place in history
• Yevgeny (why would you not like Yevgeny?)

NAY:

• I wanted more story (it was very short and just kind of ended)

Verdict: A small but poignant snapshot of an artist’s childhood. Worth reading, partly because it takes so little time to read (that makes sense, right?).

The Water and the Wild and The Doorway and the Deep by K.E. Ormsbee

These are the first two books in a middle grade fantasy trilogy (that evidently never got off the ground, because the third book is virtually nonexistent). The story is about an orphan girl named Lottie Fiske who travels to a magical world through a portal in an apple tree, and turns out to be *gasp* the Chosen One…or something. (Not the most original of premises, but okay.)

YEA:

• the charm (there’s this comfy MG fantasy vibe that I’m kind of into)
• Fife (to be honest, I’m mostly just here for Fife)
• Oliver (Oliver is also a dear)
• keens (they are kind of cool, and make the magic system more interesting)
• the angst, generally (mainly as it pertains to Fife, of course)

NAY:

• When comfy-MG-fantasy-vibe strays into generic-MG-fantasy-vibe (there is a fine line there, folks)
• Lottie being kind of “blah” the majority of the time (a vehicle for the plot, basically)
• the preteen/teen romantic drama (hm…no)
• plot and pacing things that are just kind of…eh?
• awkward exposition
• the ambiguous existence of the third book

Verdict:

Even though things like unique magic systems and my boy Fife do their best to spice things up, these books do come across as rather bland, and generic. There is still a vague charm (and there is Fife), so I enjoyed them marginally well, despite shortcomings.

The Man Who Was Thursday by G.K. Chesterton

The anarchists are Most Definitely about to blow up the world. Or at least, destroy the existing social order. Obviously this won’t do at all, so Scotland Yard sends a young policeman undercover into the Central Anarchist Council, where he assumes the name “Thursday”. Each member of the group is named after a day of the week, it so happens. Sunday is their leader, and he is…well…we don’t really know what he is. But he’s sure something.

YEA:

• the writing style (G.K. Chesterton can WRITE, guys. Also this is the most “novel-like” of his novels that I’ve read)
• the wit and general humor (’tis funny)
• the many quotable moments (some of which are profound and some of which are just downright hilarious)
• Gabriel Syme (what an entertaining fellow he is)
• the plot (ridiculous in a satisfying way, for the most part)
• it was oddly relatable (…not sure if I should be putting this in “yea” or “nay”…)

NAY:

• the ending (for some reason it became unsettling? I know it’s supposed to be a nightmare…but even so)
• Sunday (he was just…unsettling. Maybe this is why I did not love the ending)
• slightly more chaos than I wanted (I like the chaos…but not that much)

Verdict: Though Sunday dampens my enthusiasm slightly, I still found this book to be sharp, funny, and altogether quite entertaining.

Enemy Brothers by Constance Savery

This WWII children’s novel was published during the war, which I find very cool. Tony was kidnapped as a toddler by a childless German woman who must have figured it wasn’t that big of a deal since Tony’s mother had plenty of other children. I mean, it’s only fair, eh? Gotta distribute the children equally. Plus she really, really, really wanted him. That makes it okay, right? (I dearly hope that you know the answer to this question…) Anyway. Twelve-year-old Tony (who is called Max now) suddenly learns that he’s actually English and he is Not Happy about it.

YEA:

• the large family aesthetic (it is very wholesome and it makes me very happy)
• SIBLINGS (and so many of them, too)
• the hardcore identity crisis (the angst, you know)
• Dym being the Ideal Older Brother (of course we love this man)
• the historical context
• the metaphors

NAY:

• when the metaphors strayed too far into straight-up allegory territory (like, just because Dym is a Christ figure doesn’t mean he has to literally be perfect)

Verdict: Though it fell a little flat at a few moments, overall it was a solid story with lovable characters.

The Unlikely Escape of Uriah Heep by H.G. Parry

Rob has a perfectly normal life. Or perhaps he would have a perfectly normal life if his younger brother Charley didn’t frequently call him at three o’clock in the morning to ask him to help chase down a fictional character that Charley had accidentally read out of a book. (Is this just Inkheart for adults? Maybe??)

YEA:

• Charley (my boy. I know you are a twenty-six-year-old college professor but I would still like to adopt you as my son)
• Rob (chill, son. Just chill)
• Millie (she may say “jolly” entirely too much but I jolly well love her anyway)
• BOOKS (gotta love a book about books, am I right?)
• summoning (I just love the way interpretations work. So much opportunity for humor, but also angst)
• Dickens influences (so much respect for Dickens)
• literary references (characters. Characters everywhere…)
• New Zealand (they live in Wellington. I love it)
• brothers (we know you love each other)
• the ANGST and PAIN and PERIL (is it over-the-top? Nonsense… Um…I do love my fictional men in pain, though, not gonna lie)
• the pure love and admiration for story-telling that oozes from the pages (more of that, please)
• literary criticism (can we just talk about stories all day long??)
• the way the plot just felt satisfying
• the parallels

NAY:

• unfortunately, the writing itself was subpar (it wasn’t awful, but it could have been so much better. A good word to describe it is “sloppy”. A few more rounds of edits could have sharpened it up quite a bit)
• frequent inconsistencies and typos (this kind of goes along with the previous complaint, obviously. Do editors exist?)
• Lydia kind of just being there to be Rob’s girlfriend (I could tell it was trying to make her interesting? But it didn’t totally work? She was fine, though)
• summoning sometimes getting a bit too convoluted and confusing

Verdict: So, for me this book was just fun. It has so many things I am bound to enjoy: brothers, books, Dickens aesthetics, literary humor, all the angst- I just wish it had better prose, but hey, nothing is perfect.

Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens

So I had to read a Dickens after TUEOUH. Of course I did.

This is one of the ones I hadn’t the faintest idea about before reading it, which is rather unusual since I’ve seen a fair number of BBC adaptions. Who knew a good chunk of this book took place in America? Not me. Who knew that it was about young Martin Chuzzlewit setting out to seek his fortune after quarreling with his grandfather (old Martin Chuzzlewit, as it were), who is maybe dying and definitely attempting to avoid all of his relatives who are aggressively trying to get written into his will? …Not me.

YEA:

• the writing (Oh, Dickens, there is none other)
• the sarcasm (like I said…Dickens)
• Tom Pinch (bless him)
• Ruth Pinch (siblings, guys)
• John Westlock (I will admit he grew on me)
• Mark Tapley (maybe likes the word “jolly” even more than Millie does)
• the Youngest Gentleman (I find his suffering unfailingly hilarious)
• Chuffey (a dear soul, with one of the best character introductions ever)
• a bunch of other entertaining characters (this is Dickens, after all)
• some satisfying character development for certain characters

NAY:

• It was …long (as much as I love Dickens, he does tend to be a little bit long-winded)
• Certain characters maybe being too perfect (Tom, Ruth and Mary, particularly)
• the fate of the Youngest Gentleman (though, it could have been much worse)
• some of the commentary on America (I thought I was fully prepared for Dickens to make fun of us, but some of it wasn’t quite fair. I don’t have the brain to articulate exactly what I mean, so that’s all you’re getting)

Verdict: Definitely not one of my favorite Dickens, but worth the read for some lovable and/or entertaining characters, not to mention the sublimity that is Dickens’ prose.

Virgil Wander by Leif Enger

Virgil, a mild-mannered, middle-aged man, is recovering from a serious accident (his brain may have been effected). His town is struggling not to die (it’s small and sad). A kite-flying stranger shows up, hungry for stories about his son. There’s a story here…right?

YEA:

• the prose (Leif Enger really knows what he’s doing there)
• Bjorn (what a good kid)
• Rune (and his KITES)
• Galen (this one is a handful, okay)
• the Empress (it’s a movie theater…not like an actual female ruler of an empire)
• family and community vibes
• humorous and/or heartfelt anecdotes (you know this brings Gary D. Schmidt to mind)
• Virgil being such a dad

NAY:

• pretty much all the romance? (some of it was just “meh” and some of it was NO THANK YOU. Also there was just…too much of it?)
• the…Ann situation (what even…was that…? But also, why? It makes me mad)
• Things kind-of sort-of feeling nihilistic at times (for some reason the overall feel of the book was depressing?)
• Not enough Bjorn
• It just wasn’t Peace Like River

Verdict: I found this book to be disappointing, because I love Peace Like a River and it didn’t measure up- not exactly fair, but there it is. Though it has some good moments, the story didn’t grip me. The fact that it has a vaguely depressing feel doesn’t help matters much. I did like it okay, just…not as much as I was hoping to.

The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole

You know when you try to marry off your son and then he gets crushed to death by a giant helmet on his wedding day? That’s basically what this book is like.

YEA:

• the morbidity of the humor (it’s…supposed to be funny…right?)
• the castle (castles are cool, you know?)
• the characters just Not Having a Clue
• the first preface (William Goldman vibes, anyone?)
• the fact that this is known as the first gothic novel (the history of literature!)

NAY:

• the lack of quotation marks and paragraph breaks (just very hard on my poor brain)

Verdict: Quite entertaining, particularly in light of its historical significance

Bungo Stray Dogs: Storm Bringer by Kafka Asagiri

Chuuya joined the Port Mafia one year ago. Just because he wanted to (…this is a lie). Now a man has shown up claiming to be his older brother. He is a happy, peace-loving man who would absolutely never dream of killing Chuuya’s friends or giving him trauma (this also is a lie). Chuuya may have to team up with an AI detective named Adam to handle the situation (this one is actually true).

(Is this a light novel that I bought in spite of my better judgment because I am overly invested in the life of a particular anime character? Well…it’s a distinct possibility.)

YEA:

• Chuuya (…he is the reason I’m here in the first place…and what a precious, broken child he is)
• BACKSTORY (can I get an amen?)
• the bread. The bread story (I ADORE THIS PART SO MUCH I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT IT’S BEAUTIFUL)
• Dazai (this kid is downright disturbing, but for some reason we love him anyway??)
• Adam essentially being a blend of the Terminator from T2 and Baymax from Big Hero 6 (I did rename this book Bungo Hero 6: Judgment Day, in case you were wondering)
• Detective Murase (I did not think I was going to care…but then I did care. Bless this man)
• I’M INDIFFERENT (Sure. Sure you are)
• I want to see Chuuya suffer as a human (um…I do, though)
• there was a lot of suffering. And angst. And trauma (*claps hands gleefully*)
• Corruption (witness suffering, angst and trauma growing at an exponential rate!!)
• that one scene in the epilogue (I’m not saying I cried, but there were FEELINGS, okay?)
• the Afterward (best quality writing right there)
• the illustrations (when they appeared)

NAY:

• the writing. Just…everything about the writing (to be honest, it comes across as a first draft…written by a sixteen-year-old. It’s pretty brutal. If I was not already invested in the characters from the anime, I could not have made it past the first page. Seriously, it’s bad)
• the metaphors and similes (just an example of the cringe-y writing: “His life before that was just a curtain of darkness- pitch-black emptiness darker than the darkest night.” *facepalm*)
• Certain plot things being hilariously convoluted or just plain Not Making Sense (I would list them, but that would be a whole blog post in itself, so…I won’t)
• People not needing any time to recover from Serious Injuries (such as bullet wounds and being impaled…son, you don’t just bounce back from these things)
• a certain character refusing to stay dead (dude, is it that hard)
• the hat thing (guys…just let it be a hat)
• the Stupid Sheep Kid (…he’s so stupid)
• …and have I mentioned the writing (IT IS SO BAD)
• Why do light novels exist? (THIS SHOULD BE MADE INTO MANGA)
• Not enough illustrations (because…it should be manga)

Verdict: Um…so…so as a book it kind of sucks. But the story has a lot of potential and Chuuya’s character development is a beautiful thing to see. It could be a solid anime or manga. But please don’t make me suffer through any more prose. (I’m still really glad I read it, but shhh.)

Epilogue

Well. That turned out to be a kind of eclectic grouping of books, didn’t it? I am not quite sure what to do with it. As someone who has always taken pride in my love of quality prose, I’m finding it rather alarming how much I enjoyed books like TUEOUH and Storm Bringer (not that those two belong in the same category- Storm Bringer is MUCH worse). Not that it really matters. Only it sort of triggers an identity crisis of some kind.

I get unnecessarily dramatic about things.

What have you been reading, these days? Anything cringe–y to share? What is the best book you’ve discovered recently? Have you ever suffered through a poorly written book for the sake of one particular character? Are you a Dickens fan?