The Weapons Tag~ In Which I Decide How I Should Die And Invent…Something

Hello, everyone!

As you may have gathered from the informative title of this post, I have been tagged for The Weapons Tag.

…Actually, to be more specific, I was tagged about…um…seven months ago (holy moly, has it been that long???) by the estimable Sarah Seele @ Sixty-Something Trees and I am just now getting around to doing it.

Many thanks to Sarah for tagging me and apologies for taking absolute ages to get to doing this post.

Speaking of this post, it should be really exciting because I have NO IDEA what I’m talking about.

…So like most of my blog posts then.

Weapons are cool. Sting is my favorite sword. I’ve always wanted to be skilled with a bow for some reason. But I have no firsthand experience of using weapons aside from the occasional stuffed panda missile and the stray sword forged from wood, plastic or foam.

Sword | Western European | The Metropolitan Museum of Art
(clearly not a weapon that I have ever fought with)

I did throw a book at my sister’s head one time. I didn’t think I would actually hit her, since I’m bad at aiming, but…well, I didn’t miss.

Anyway, let’s just get on with the tag then and see how clueless I really am.

RULES OF COMBAT: 

1. Use the above picture or a similar picture of a sword.
2. Thank the person who tagged you and provide a link to their post.
3. Answer the 7 questions as best you can.
4. Tag 3 other bloggers if possible.
5. Close out the post making some statement or other to glorify the King of Kings.

The Questions:

1. If you had to choose any one medieval weapon for combat, what would it be and why?

First of all, picturing myself in a combat situation is a mortifying prospect.

That scene from the Court Jester is so strong in my mind right now and I am pained that I cannot find a GIF of it so I will just describe it to you:

Hurbert Hawkins: [staring in overwhelmed perplexity at the array of weapons laid before him after being told to choose one] “I’ll take one of those, one of those- a couple of those…” [glancing up at his intimidating opponent] “…I’d better take them all.”

I suppose I would choose a bow and arrow because then I could cower behind something and shoot at my opponent from a distance. Whether or not I would actually succeed in hitting said opponent is another question entirely.

2. If you had to choose any one post-medieval weapon for combat, what would it be and why?

Hm…putting me in combat again. I guess I should have known this would happen when I decided to participate in a tag with “weapons” in the title.

I DON’T KNOW. A tranquilizer gun. Like Milligan. Because…Milligan has one. (That is a perfectly valid reason, in case you were questioning my logic here.)

I just can’t picture myself actually being in combat, guys. I’m sorry.

Come to think of it, tranquilizer guns have probably been around forever but at this point I a sticking with this answer. Because Milligan. Okay.

3. If you had to choose to die from a blow/shot from some weapon or other, what would it be and why?

This is tricky because on the one hand it would be super dramatic to be stabbed with a dagger and die a slow, agonizing death with loved ones weeping around me while I managed to say something very touching and memorable (despite the agony and the blood and everything).

…But on the other hand, I hate pain and I would like to die so quickly that I don’t even get a chance to know that I’ve died. So…maybe a really hard blow to the head from a Very Large Rock.

4. If you could design your own personal weapon (whether logical or not), what would it be like and how would it work? What would you call it?

*intensely channeling Dr. Seuss*

Okay, so it would be a sturdy wooden staff (a quarterstaff? I don’t know what things are called)  that has the option of extending blades out the sides (making it function essentially like a broadsword) and also the ability to shoot bullets out the top like a rifle (don’t ask where the trigger and such would come from), and ALSO the ability to return to you if you throw it (like a boomerang).

So a staff, sword, rifle, boomerang…which we would call…a sworfle-boomernaff.

Yup. That’s what it would be.

5. If you were in a battle, what era of weapons would you desire most to be fighting with and why?

 Medieval, because it would be aesthetically pleasing…that’s a good reason, right?

I also just feel like I want to avoid atomic bombs and things. And obviously the only two eras to choose from are medieval and 20th century.

6. If you were to lead a charge, what would your battle cry be?

FOR FREEDOM AND FOR HUGS.

No, that’s just a placeholder until I come up with something that’s actually awesome.

(Yeah, now it’s time to post the thing and I haven’t come up with anything else. Oh well.)

I know this is all hypothetical, but me leading a charge is NOT something that would ever happen, and if it did happen I would probably be screaming incoherently, unable to conjure words, let alone clever and/or moving words.

7. Is your preferred style of combat physical, conversational, or mental?  Are you more prone to do one as to the other despite your preferences?

Conversational, maybe? Or maybe it’s mental but then it comes out conversationally…. I do like to be smarter than people, and prove that I am smarter than them, at least to myself.

I guess I don’t really know how to answer this question except to say that it’s definitely not physical.

Epilogue

Ultimately weaponry is NOT my strength. Clearly. But thankfully that is okay.

In closing, I will share with you this statement to glorify the King of Kings: No matter how hopeless the situation, no matter how incompetent we feel, no matter how measly our weapons seem in the face of the enemy, no matter what we are up against, the Creator of the universe is fighting for us…and he will win.

For thus says the Lord: β€œEven the captives of the mighty shall be taken, and the prey of the tyrant be rescued, for I will contend with those who contend with you, and I will save your children.

Isaiah 49:25

Thanks again to Sarah Seele for tagging me! You should all go check out her blog, because it’s a joy to read.

Do you know anything about weapons? Have you ever actually shot a bow and arrow? What kind of weapon would you invent? Have you ever thought about what your battle cry would be?

20 thoughts on “The Weapons Tag~ In Which I Decide How I Should Die And Invent…Something

  1. I have read Lord of the Rings, Narnia and Harry Potter- so been around weapons in books. I actually went to Medieval Times- a medieval dinner while are routing for their knight in a jousting tournament (as in we sit in section for a particular knight), and when I went, my knight won.

    Yes- shot a bow and arrow only like at an archery activity at camp= which I was terrible at

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, that medieval dinner experience sounds like a lot of fun! I have never been to something like that, but I think it would cool.
      I am pretty sure I attempted archery at camp when I was nine years old and I couldn’t even pull the string back.

      Like

  2. FOR FREEDOM AND FOR HUGS.

    I see no problem with that.

    Also imagining oneself in a combat situation IS terrifying, but whenever I pick up my sword I immediately gain a surge of confidence. It makes me feel epic, regardless of how non-epic I probably look (did I mention the sword is wooden and painted silver? And about the size of Sting? :P) But yeah, this is what cool weapons are for, that confidence boost. πŸ˜‰

    (also I just remembered that I, too, was tagged for this and eager to do it and has it really been seven months?? Oh dear. Might want to fix that. πŸ˜†)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Freedom and hugs are both worthy things. πŸ˜‰
      Your sword sounds wonderful. I can see how that would make you feel braver.
      (Haha, yeah, well I would love to read your answers to these questions! We can both be Extremely Late for this tag together.)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Don’t we all want to be able to use a bow… *weeps for lack of bow and also arm muscles*

    #3 now just has me picturing you walking along in some fantasy world and then BAM. Very Large Rock, out of the empty sky.

    And now everyone needs a sworfle-boomernaff. Just for the name. We shall be an army of sworfle-boomernaff wielders, led by Professor Sponge shrieking “FOR FREEDOM AND FOR HUGS”. Obviously, we shall be undefeated.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I KNOW, the issue of the lack of bow is unsurpassed- excepting by the issue of the lack of arm muscles. The lack of arm muscles is…very real.
      Haha, yes, I was kind of picturing the same thing. πŸ˜‰
      Ah, that vision of sworfle-boomernaff wielders led by me that you have conjured is a sight to behold. I almost feel noble now, and brave enough to lead the charge.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This Weapons Tag was the opposite of painful to read. (Oh my, I don’t even think that counts as a pun, maybe only a poor attempt at a pun.) Okay, I know that in terms of lethality, the broadsword and bullets functions of the staff are probably more important, but to me, its ability to boomerang far surpasses the other two. And I just want to say that I understood and very much appreciate the Mysterious Benedict Society reference.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, the boomerang function is, though not the most practical, indeed the most pleasing of the sworfle boomernaff’s abilities. I quite agree.
      YAY, The Mysterious Benedict Society is BEAUTIFUL and I am so happy that you appreciate the reference. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. The scene from the Court Jester. Oh my. It is truly hilarious.

    And the SWORFLE-BOOMERNAFF. (I loved reading this tag so much.) I want one. It’s actually a really cool weapon! Having a weapon with boomerang qualities already gives you quite an advantage because I would think losing your weapon could be a real problem. One that we, in company with Sokka and the mighty Thor, will never have to deal with. And as mentioned by others, we will take others off guard when we threaten them with it. We will first probably have to practice saying it straight-faced ourselves, though. I love this weapon, seriously.

    Also, yeah. I don’t know what era I want to fight in. Is “none of them” an option? As soon as you have enough scientific advancement for antibiotics and no more bayonets (bayonets are so scary) and multiple ways to deal with injuries besides “welp, you’re probably gonna die a slow painful death of gangrene or something now,” you have mustard gas and atomic bombs and machine guns. Blekhhh.

    I loved reading this, and I’m so glad you did it! That Bible verse is very beautiful, too…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so pleased that the sworfle boomernaff has become such a success. Also I definitely gave it boomerang qualities because of Sokka.
      Agh, yes, your points on the pros and cons of different eras of war are so true. I think “none of them” should definitely be an option.
      Thank you so much, I am so glad that I did it too!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s