An Ode To Baldness

Greetings, my bloggerly chums!

I love characters. I love characters of all shapes, sizes and dispositions.

I love round characters, angular characters, human characters, rodent characters, spaghetti-like characters and allergy ridden characters, accident prone characters and physically fit characters and characters who lose the buttons off their waistcoats.

I love organized characters, haphazard characters, soup-eating characters and characters you wouldn’t want to be seen with in public, characters who wouldn’t be able to tie their own shoes and characters who would tie your shoes for you.

I love characters who don’t speak at all and characters who spend five minutes just saying good morning. I love characters who use two words where they really should use fifty and characters who use fifty words where they really should use two. (Evidently if I was a character I would be of the latter category.)

Ahem…I appear to be digressing. Where was I going with this?

Ah, yes. Today I will be celebrating characters with a specific trait, and you already know what this trait is if you read the title of this post.

Baldness!

I myself have never been bald. I wasn’t even bald as a baby (though I suppose before I was born I was bald at some point…but anyway). But I admire a good many bald people, and here I have complied a list of some of my favorite characters in movies, TV shows and books that have this trait….some of which are slightly less admirable than others.

Professor Charles Xavier

Will we ever see Professor X in a Marvel movie?

No, the man isn’t perfect and sometimes he can be a little bit on the controlling side, BUT he ultimately wants to help the troubled and traumatized mutant children in the world by providing a school where they can explore and become comfortable with their gifts. He believes that mutants and humans can learn to understand each other and live with mutual respect for each other. Gotta admire him for that.

(Also I may be biased since I AM Charles Xavier in some regards…)

The Ancient One

Ancient One | Marvel Cinematic Universe Wiki | Fandom

So she’s not a turtle, but she’s a master sorcerer and she manages to teach Stephen Strange some humility, which is an impressive feat.

She’s not exactly the greatest role model, but she’s very cool…(and she fights with fans sometimes so she’s basically a Kyoshi warrior). As old/wise mentor figures go, she’s one to be reckoned with.

(In case you wondered, this will always be the first thing I think of when I hear ‘the Ancient One’.)

Morla the Ancient One | The Neverending Story Wiki | Fandom

(Good old Morla.)

Megamind

Megamind for Fan Fiction Writers | Megamind Wiki | Fandom

Megamind is a villain. He’s a very theatrical villain. All the world really is a stage to him. Yes, he causes general terror and mayhem, but it’s more of a game to him than anything else, and he’s such a dork about it that you can’t help but become at least slightly endeared to him.

Thankfully by the end, causing general terror an mayhem is no longer one of his habits.

Aang

Avatar: The Last Airbender Newbie Recap: Book One Finale | The Mary Sue

Aang. The Avatar. The Last Airbender. My Son.

Aang, after waking up from a hundred year coma, is the last of his people- not only is he the last airbender, but also the last of the air nomads. No trauma there.

He’s twelve and he has way too much responsibility, but he bears up under it surprisingly well- with the help of his Wonderful Friends.

Eleven

Eleven (Stranger Things) - Wikipedia

MY CHILD. She was raised in a lab and experimented on. Sometimes she gets murdery, but she’s actually really sweet.

She has superpowers, but she can’t do everything on her own- she needs the help of her Wonderful Friends. Just like Aang. Also possibly dealing with trauma?

Ulysses

Flora & Ulysses, illustrated by K.G. Campbell - Painted Words

Baldness caused by being sucked up in a vacuum cleaner. You know. These things happen.

Ulysses is the sweetest, most poetic squirrel you can imagine. Also very heroic. Being sucked into the vacuum not only caused baldness, but superpowers as well. Superpowers such as flight and poetry writing abilities. And he’s just the best, what more can I say?

Sticky Washington

Book Review – β€œThe Mysterious Benedict Society” Trilogy – Sci-fi Fantasy  Lit Chick

(He’s the one on the far right…yes, the bald one.)

Sticky’s baldness was caused by hair remover- for a disguise. He ran away from home for Reasons that will make you angry and very sad at the same time. This poor child.

He remembers everything he reads. Every stinkin’ thing. And he reads a LOT. He’s also very sweet and timid and shy, and a very good friend indeed. His friends are Wonderful, and they all need each other and reading about their friendship is a blessing. Go, read it. Be blessed.

Charlie Brown

Lights, Please? A Charlie Brown Christmas and the Search for Holiday Truths  | Tor.com

I just realized that this is the only non-superhuman character on this list…huh. Gotta love Charlie Brown though. I relate to him on a spiritual level.

He’s just trying to live his life, the poor  guy. But everyone is constantly putting him down, even his own dog. And he overthinks everything, all the time. (Me. Every. Day.)

Epilogue

Well, I am sure that there are other wonderful bald characters out there, but those are the ones that come to mind.

Who are some of your favorite bald characters? Are you familiar with Morla, the Ancient One? Have you read They Mysterious Benedict Society? Do you relate to Charlie Brown? What awesome people did I miss?

22 thoughts on “An Ode To Baldness

  1. I saw the title and I knew this was going to be good.
    You did not disappoint. πŸ˜‚πŸ‘Œ
    Have I ever mentioned you have an amazing way with characters?? I love these kinds of post

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It’s been a long time since I saw the Never Ending Story, and Morla. I remember sneezes… and being a little intimidated by those sneezes.
    Glad to see Sticky getting some attention– he deserves it!
    I haven’t met Ulysses yet, but I see that I must.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed! Morla (the Ancient One) has incredibly impressive sneezes. They are somewhat intimidating.
      Yay, Sticky! I am glad you appreciate him as well. he is certainly deserving of attention.
      Ah, Ulysses is a gem. I hope that you meet him soon.

      Like

    1. Yes, Ulysses is definitely the sort of squirrel one should know more about. He was sucked up into the vacuum completely accidentally by a very nice lady in a regular neighborhood, who was trying out a not very nice or regular vacuum cleaner for the first time.
      (The book is called Flora and Ulysses by Kate DiCamillo, and it IS adorable. I love all of her books.)

      Like

  3. THIS. THIS WAS MAGNIFICENT. I’m convinced we need more bald characters in fiction. Personally, my favorite in this list might be The Ancient One (aka the White Witch – am I the only one who can’t see her as anyone else? πŸ˜‚) because her head looks so gloriously smooth. That sounds weird. I regret nothing. (I also just about lost it when you said “not a turtle” πŸ˜‚)

    Also this reminds me of a nagging question: when bald people wash their face, how far up do they go? πŸ€”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! Indeed, more bald people in fiction would be a glorious thing. Ah, yes, I always think of her as the White Witch as well! She did such a great job with that role, and it certainly made an impression on me.
      Hm, that is a very good question. I never thought of that before…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You, my friend, are a veritable genius of a Sponge. For long years I have pondered in search of an answer to the conundrum: what secret ingredient defines the Foolproof Fantastic Character? And lo, you have provided the answer. Baldness.

    I only ever saw, like, the first twenty minutes of Doctor Strange, but I did love the Ancient One. I also like that she’s female. Mostly you think of men being bald, but she isn’t. (A man.) Also she really pulls it off, I have to say.

    Megamiiiiiind!!!! I’m not aware whether his head is so big because he’s an alien and that’s how their heads are shaped or because his skull had to expand to fit his inventor brain inside. And if the latter, I always kind of wondered if that’s why he doesn’t have hair either. Like there was too much brain, there was no room for the hair follicles.
    That is such a weird thing to wonder.
    I love Megamind, though.

    AANG. I finally watched Avatar (all three seasons) last month. It was glorious. Aang is so endearing and he wants to slide on penguins and save the world in equal measure and I love him. As well as his Wonderful Friends.

    Sticky Washington and Charlie Brown ❀ Two pure and precious souls.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed, it takes great wisdom to uncover such secrets of the universe. That is what sponges are for.
      She does! Tilda Swinton is wonderful, and she pulled off baldness as the Ancient One very well.
      Those are all very probable explanations concerning Megamind’s head. I hadn’t thought of it before. He does have a dizzying intellect.
      YOU WATCHED AVATAR. AND LIKED IT. Wow, I don’t know why that makes me so happy but it does. πŸ™‚
      YES. Sticky Washington and Charlie Brown are so pure and precious, I quite agree.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. He DOES have a dizzying intellect, indeed. (PRINCESS BRIDE REFERENCE??)

        YES I DID LIKE IT. RATHER A LOT. It was so good. And it started out just kind of “yeah, it’s good, but it’s nothing special,” but…well…yes. I was really impressed.
        Although I was not impressed with the Aang/Katara thing.
        But Zuko is literally as wonderful as everyone always said and…wow.
        And Iroh.
        And the SIX-LEGGED FLYING BISON

        Liked by 1 person

      2. INDEED. I am glad you got the Princess Bride reference. πŸ™‚
        Yeah, that’s kind of how it was for me as well! It was entertaining, but not…AMAZING, and then…it WAS amazing. I am still surprised by how much it impressed me when I think about it.
        Ugh, yeah…why.
        ZUKO. IROH. APPA. Yes. Yes. Yes.

        Like

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